Upon Daedalus's Wings

What I Learned From 7th Sea

2006-08-26T00:20:38Z

My most steady game recently has beena 7th Sea game, GMed by the memorable "Smitty." Described as something of a Kingdom Hearts of Anime, it turns the dramatic swashbuckling rules of 7th Sea to emulate a dramatic anime style.

Some points I've taken away from it:

* Drama Dice. The idea is like Action Points in d20, basically that you have a better chance of succeeding when you are heroic! Only, they work a bit more gamey than Action Points because as you spend them, the GM gets them to use for his villains. I'm stealing this idea as Cutscenes for FFZ, where automatic success of a roll is assured -- and the GM can use them as much as the players can. As AP or DD, the mechanic is limited to the character, but I think I want to apply it as a party-based mechanic for FFZ. I want to enhance the feel of the party as a cohesive group and give them rescources to spend as a party, not just as an individual. This is key for FFZ's desire to get inside of your character, and to explore interparty relationships -- who would you give a free success to?

* Pictures For NPCs. I'm astonished at what a little visual aid can do. Inspiring NPC's off of other characters is a genius idea, because it gives you a pre-concieved style in which to run them, making your running of them that much better, that much less cliche. FFZ kind of benefits from this by default, but can take it further...the more representation the better. This is Smitty's personal thing, not standard 7th Sea

* Keeping the Character Sheets. Another Smitty-specific, this not only makes sure no one looses thier character, but also that you can design for characters in between. With FFZ's character questionaire and things of that nature, it makes it even more key -- want to get an idea for this week's adventure? Just look at what one of the character's biggest fears is, and punch it!

* Hit points are good. In the 7th sea, taking damage is split up into about four different sub-systems, and I've never really gotten the hang of it. A quick and simple system is bonus.

* Death is bad. Unconciousness is good. In the 7th sea, "only villains are encouaraged to kill characters, and only then to further the drama." This is kindred to FFZ's design philosophy, though slightly counter to d20's.

That's tentative, there is more ideas comin'.

More Web Stuff

2005-09-24T03:44:37Z

To clear off my windows, here's some random crap from the internet:

Adorable thing! Not tested on animals, but oh so funny if it was....

Neato! Read the original text of Alice in Wonderland. Pedophilia has never been so delightfully illustrated!

All Grown Up. This is hell of sweet. The ease and portability of a Gameboy was just BEGGING to be turned into something large and awkward, don't you think? iPods the size of Stonehenge? Oh this beautiful and terrible future!

TALES OF INTREST! This is cool for all of you linguophiles out there who think language is somehow sacred. ;)

By the way, vintage artwork rocks. That whale seriously gets my blood pumpin'. Muchlove.

Bollywood is funny. Now get it on a T-Shirt! insert cheech and chong quote here.

One of the few reasons NOT to nuke the South. This music is amazing. Fuckin' works of goddamn art, bitches.

This is a work of art, too, but it has much more potential to eat it's own young.

Pretty sweet, too, though I admit, there's anthro nerd and regular nerd in the awesome I see in it.

That's it for now. This month's check is going to cell phone bill. Let's rock!

Oh my crap....

2005-09-22T04:32:27Z

I wasn't kidding when I thought life would get hell of busier after I started class. It amazes and delights me. I FEEL GREAT!, no energy bars needed!

And now I bring tidings from the internet:

This Girl, from Facebook, brings me much of the delights. And because I like using HTML tags, I will give you her joy.

First of all, some may remember my notes about The South. While I stand by them, from a polemical perspective, fucking hilarious.

Feeling self-concious about cup size ladies? I don't care, so you needn't wory much, but if you do, your needs are met. I aim to please.

Also, there's this thing, which I'm currently nerding out over as it applies do D&D. The Stagnation/Innovatoin analysis is pretty good, and it tells me why I'm as excited about the new Revolutoin controller as I was about Katamari Damacy. It also tells me why new editions are good, and why the d20 Liscence is the fucking second coming of Nerd Jesus.

So, what else...what else...care for a little bit of Life Story? Okay!

Cathy Buck is back in town and that means WOOOOOOOOOO! WOOOOOOOOOOO! WOOO! Apparently there was a 5-year reunion for BCHS that I was ignored for (assholes!), but there has been more nostalgia than I knew I could handle the last few days. Which is good. I have also been reminded of how paralyzingly dull Beloit is. Which is not so good. But hey, I'm going to Madison every other day, sometimes dressed as a pirate, so I can't complain.

Yeah, it's true, I went to Madison with an eye patch and a parrot. I was too tired to really make the most of it, but whatevah. I did get asked if I lost a bet....

But now I am too tired to steal links from Boing-Boing, so I'll just go back to reading HP#6 (HE IS INNOCENT, I SWEAR!) before drifting off to Z-land.

Ow, my free time!

2005-08-31T23:41:51Z

SO, I started work this week. It feels good to be employed again, and at a "retail sales" position as opposed to food service. I've worked my way up from loaf-jockey to smarmy saler (sailor!) with spikey hair who sells cell phones to 18 year old trollops. Often with accessories!

Turns out I make phatty lewt when giving those trollops their cell phones! W00tabego!

Anyway, all trollops aside, Radio Shack is probably about as good as I could ask for in Beloit. I feel like my abilities will be put to use and my knowledge will be expanded and my system will be tricked out by the time I'm done there.

Of course, all this means that my slackage time (or writing time, more appropriately) has been curbed. Not a HUGE biggie, since 75% of my slackage time was spent either board or morose (and the other 25% ROCKED LIKE THE MOON), just something to take into account.

And starting some time next week, my time will be even more eroded, because that's when two things start. Jeckelfuns, start your engines! VAROOOOM goes the school. VRE-VRE-VRE-VOOOOOOOH goes the D&D.

Wussat? Phuck yes. D&D is back, trollops! It's also at your local library, and you know what that means: FREE D&D BOOKS! I can rent the book I need from the library for a week, and then return it when I'm done. Oh, snap! Take that, limited income, you worthless trollop!

Speaking of worthless trollops, if you marry one or are one take a look at these D&D-style wedding vows. A married girl thought I was adorable for posting them. Le blush. A shame she's married...the troll.....op.

Enuff of the trollop stuff. Since apparently blogging about the hurricane is KOOL 100's LONG, here's the thing: the beauty and savegry of nature are awesome sights to behold. Nawlins has been overdue to be a sunken city for a long time...speaking from a perspective of natural disasters, this one was huge in terms of biblical action, but rather weak in terms of human tragedy AFAICT. This is a good thing, no doubt. So Fox News? Shutthefuckup about it being some HUGE, UNHOLY, APOCALYPTIC, DAY OF FUCKING JUDGMENT. You're being fucking drama queens. Not that this is that surprising from the news station that brought us "MISSING WHITE GIRL 24/7" or "OH MY GOD THEY ARE TERRORISTS. WAIT, NO," but it's rediculous. You know that guy who, when you asked him what he was doing still in NO during the hurricane, he said "None of your fucking business?" Take a hint, dildo patrol.

And the looting? YE GODS, THE LOOTING! Look, if your company got bitch slapped by mother nature, you're writing it all off, anyway. Everything that the thieves in the daylight are stealing is already lost merch. Money, food, products -- they live in an accursed swamp! Gators in the home! They deserve everything they can get their paws on! This is an act of God, and you're acting like the laws of civilized society come into play? Criminey, this is The Road Warrior with damp trousers, this is! It's anarchy! Natural order!

Also stylish in blogging circles: the fight against piracy. Or, more aptly, the fight FOR piracy against The Man. This Guy made a cool thing. 'sall about gettin' your five blings worth.

Let's see, what else I got?

This test says something about something:

a Knight Captain
You scored 8 Honor, 8 Justice, 5 Adventure, and 2 Individuality!

Some knights follow the orders given them. Some know when to improvise.
The second sort are the ones that grow to power, to become leadeers and
Knight Captains. Your sense of duty, honor and justice speaks that your
name should be amongst their ranks.

Get your squire, your banner, your armor and your sword. You're gonna do just fine

My test tracked 4 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender:

You scored higher than 58% on Ninjinuity
You scored higher than 90% on Knightlyness
You scored higher than 20% on Cowboiosity
You scored higher than 3% on Piratical Bent

Link: The Cowboy-Ninja-Pirate-Knight Test written by fluffy71 on OkCupid Free Online Dating

And on the other side...uhmmm....here's a farting preacher. With a flickr set.

Shall we end on a fart joke? I think yes.

PS: Trollop!

Nintey-One Million Dollars

2005-08-23T21:07:21Z

I AM BORED OUT OF MY MIIIIIIIIIIND!

Job status? I am totally sexy.

FRICKIN' NINJA. He is one of the biggest ninjae I've seen to date, and he looks a bit umpire-esque. And if you start to argue with him he will FUCK YOU UP.

Freaky Cool. If you watch the crappy news report, you can hear the crappy recording of the scream. Apparently, it isn't just an isolated effect, but it goes on every once in a while. Makes me want to write. ^_^

MULDER, I WANT TO BELIEVE! Mostly this is to keep FSM in the continuum. I loves me that. Cuz it creates comedy like this. Delicous!

And here's some punk kids fighting lions or some shit. It's part of this flickr group, where people post pictures of 50's and 60's kiddie illos. Which is totally gnarly.

I groove on this artist, largely for the retro style, I think.

See, this stuff, along with Foster's, is golden. It's stuff John K could never touch because he's too busy with fluids and booblies to make anything coherent. It's not true old skool, but it's inspired by the old skool, and that's sweet as sugar-goats.

PPS: I hate you with the rage of one million really hung over suns, Anthro 105. Suck it!

What am I, your seal and/or sea lion?

2005-08-19T20:32:02Z

Getting a job ruffles my feathers. About a week after going to the first interviews, I've got second interviews. WTF, mang? When are you going to stop running me around and start giving me a bloody JOB?!

Well, whatever. Internet never dissapoints me. *mischief*

This Nation Has a Fever.... I'm not sure if this is hoax or of substance, nor am I sure how I would feel about it if it were real. It's just...wierd. Which I suppose fits with Walken's usual pattern. But there's a good chance of him getting my vote, even if he drops out. :)

I feel the need to preach it from the mountaintop: I've found religion!. Now if only I can become a televangelist specializing in Pastafarianism....sounds like a mission plan to me! Here is the letter that started the whole thing. GIGGILE! The things this makes me think about have me thinking of short story ideas involving The Time Cube...

Without getting too distracted by my random religious inquiries, get distracted by this. It's Puffy Ami Yumi as envisioned by fetish magazines. *shudder* Plus, they're quite '80's-tastic for Japanese critters, what with the big floppy shirts and the crimped hair and the like.

I'd like very much to support this. I know a bunch of you have already seen Red vs. Blue...this takes the formula a step further, introducing a talk show set in Halo 2. There's enough chaos to keep me a happy camper, and the montage is pretty neat. :) It's the new Space Ghost Coast to Coast! WITH GAME BOY MUSIC! The Peggy Awesh interview is actually really kickass, though there's not much randomness involved.

On the opposite end of the spectrum of awesome, here is evidence to prove that Robin is a boy toy. WARNING: the page contains watercolor ASS.

Was the world created with watercolor gay batman porn for sale in mind? Or did it evolve that way? read this thing and enjoy!

That's about all right now. Check out this place for the latest in videogames as visual art.

For now, I'm out!

NEW TOYS!

2005-08-12T07:06:24Z

I'm astonished at the amount of entertainment that can be found in the world for cheap as free. Since I've been Big Hoboing during this particular lull in The Plan, I've been on the scout for steals, deals, and squeals.

Oh, in related news, my cell phone isn't paid up, so if you try to call me on that, it will FAIL. Gimmie an IM or something and I can hook you up with the home phone at the hizzle, where I spend probably 90% of my time recently.

Anyway, free fun? Yeah, I just downloaded Winamp. For the first time. In forever. See, Windows Media player is usually fine, but it has many difficulties (including a tendancy to go "green screen" on me that I don't understand at all). For quick MP3 playing, I picked up STP, which is a small little program that I picked up specifically because it would be small and little and still allow me to play every song in my music folder on random. W00bles.

However, it has a MASSIVE problem with playlists and internet radio. So because I am at the cutting edge of dull safety scissors (WHICH CAN STILL DRAW BLOOD!), I got Winamp...and after messing around with it for a few days, I just gotta say that I am wowed and delighted. So many options. So many visualizations. So many color themes. And all without slowing down my compy at all, as far as I can tell...

So I've been riding the internet radio wave. And WOAH BOY, IT'S FREAKIN' AWESOME! In addition to being able to listen to random ass stuff (Bollywood radio station?! HELL YEAH!), I've discovered by random chance what could be the most awesome radio station in existence: Egg Radio. It was love at first listen, when I tuned in and heard Brak's "Cucumber Song". Followed by something awesome from someone I've never heard of (a band called "Suede"), followed by the Commodores' She's a Brick House....and then one of their adds says that their playlist is based on votes? Democratic radio?! THE DREAM IS ALIVE!

I am in gushy teenage girl mode. And to complete the cycle, I'm going to eat some ice cream with my little sister and watch Ice Princess. Okay, maybe not so much with the Michelle Trachtenberg Vehicle. I'll just stay here soberly tripping out to Winamp's vises instead...and listening to new ass music for once.

FYI, I managed to weasel a CD out of my parents: Gorillaz's Demon Days, which is their new one. It was a good choice. It'll fill the void nicely until I can afford to tell Froiland I left my CD's in his car...and until I can afford to tell Tom that I left some crap in his cabin...

Yeah, I'm a forgetful man. It's not cuz of brownies. Honest injun. Weed thus far is largely blameless. And thank god for deleting that picture....^_^;

In other news, can't wait 'till I get some income for the cell phone, and for SuicideGirls, which is 60% effective in countering random moroseness because there is a hot brittish lesbian who dresses up like a moogle and who gives me cool points for the blaring of the Gold Saucer theme....tell me that's not smiles in 1's and 0's!

V,
-- JD

FFZ, THE RECKONING!

2005-08-10T05:27:09Z

So to attempt to be professional about things, I've been hardcoring Final Fantasy Zero (my Final Fantasy + D&D pet project)...because I just threw a wrench into some plans. I have done years of design work and almost-perfected a 20-level system, like regular D&D. However, on something of a whim, I turned the dial on this mutha up to 11, and went for 50 levels...fifty. More than twice the original recipie...extra tasty crispy game design. And it's supposed to be balanced with core D&D...

Just what have I done to myself?! The theory runs that if they gain levels twice as fast, and replace some of the GP/level with l33t powerz, they can remain pretty balanced with the core. However, 50 levels jacks up the advancement of saves, BAB, etc. And because FFZ is attempting for a unified system instead of the 4 or 5 subsystems that D&D has, this is skewing some of the numbers; in some cases quite significantly.

For instance, D&D saves can be typified as being +1/2 levels, with a +2 bonus for the "good" save, and a -2 penalty for the "bad" save. This is a different advancement than the attack bonus, or the AC increase, but roughly even with the advancement of magic DC's, which is why saves exist at all.

Well, FFZ has no need for three different save types. It has one "saving throw": A Resistance score that is applied against mystical effects. The issue is that +1/2 levels is a pretty rotten progression in FFZ (which has 5 progressions that it applies to all class-granted ability scores). "Average" for an FFZ Resistance is actually like having all saves be good saves.

So if I give the Resistance score the same progression as the rest, I need to have something that goes alongside it -- magic should be roughly as effective at equal levels in FFZ as it is in D&D...e.g.: a 50% chance to work on any given equal target. A full mage and someone with the best resistance should cancel out, and most characters should be "average" (also leading to a canceling out). So if I change the rate at which saves go up (making them better), I have to change the rate at which magic goes up (making it better), unless I want to make magic more effective in the game or less effective in the game.

It's the rock-paper-scissors syndrome. You can't power up one without powering up all three...

The biggest issue with this is that it creates massive problems for conversion. So far, I have been acting with the intetion that FFZ be fully compatible with d20 material. But if they are more powerful (better resistance, better magic), it will be harder to balance out-of-the-book. When playing with FFZ characters, D&D characters and monsters will all need the same boost, or they will be behind.

That's a problem for me. I'm not sure what I want to do about it, except that I might just keep Resistance to the lower echelons of the advancement rates, or use a different progression for it (though that idea ain't somethin' I'm comfy with...). IT's a compromise born of the market and the intention of FFZ. I may have to give up the dream of an elegant system in favor of bending to the system that exists already.

And since I referenced rock-paper-scissors...awesome.

Now to play some videogames...

BORED EXPLOSION

2005-08-09T17:25:21Z

Let's show you crazy internet things again, shall we?

"Descartle, I choose you!". This place is great...

This shows what happens when a group of LARPers attracts exactly the right kind of attention. :) People dressed up as zombies and went to glorious combat with our tinfoil crusaders...just random awesome.

Speaking of flickr, this is also really cool, as it's a little bit of abandonment in the biggest urbangasm curretnly known...and that's sweeeeet.

This thing is what I want when I get my paws on another laptop. It's basically interweb in a backpack. I *will* invest the money to make this myself at some point, unless the Industry comes out with something cooler looking in the meantime. :)

THIS IS AMAZING. I think it is my new favorite thing. As treasure, they have the meatloaf helmet: "This is a helmet made out of meatloaf. You feel like a Bat out of Hell when you wear it. You would do anything for this helmet (but you won't do that.)". Joys! It reminds me a lot of Earthbound, but with Pastamancers instead of New Age Retro Hippies who use protractors. :)

This Godless Communism, which I wrote about earlier, has now been boingboing'd. I feel like a REAL MAN! Interweb cutting edge! Nerdtastic!

For the concientious objector.... That thing is pretty cool, though the non-politically-interested may not get the wittiness in it. ;)

Like chess? Now the oldest wargame of all time is amazingly adorable! Awwwwwwwwwwwwwww!

I want to write something with this title now. It's great. And the man-eating tiger is adorable.

You know what that is? It's a condom from Japan. Among other choice wackiness:

You just know he's up to something! Oh, condom monkey, you rascal!

That's it, I'm done, if I haven't horrified you by now, I'll do it in another week or so.

Ow, my most of me...

2005-08-08T16:33:00Z

Hey, homies. I know it's been a long time since I rapped at ya...

And now that the Jim Anchower moment is over, let's get down to business.

The Plan has temporarily stagnated without a job. It gets on my nerves.

That doesn't mean I've been inactive, however. I managed to pump out the first two units of Final Fantasy Zero, my FF + D&D hybrid game. We've got the following:

The Title Page

The Introduction

Character Creation

I've also spent a little over the last week going on a final family vacation out to the East Coast, and some fun at a cabin on a lake over a weekend with friends. I am sore, I am tanned (!?), I am content.

And now, all I need is to work my way up t a decent job. I'm off now to go apply at craptastic Belwah locations for a minute, and if some of those pan out, by the end of the month I may be able to afford going to Madtown for jobbage, which would be such bonus...

Baby steps, JD, baby steps...

Final Fantasies I Have Beaten...

2005-07-09T23:05:01Z

I *just* beat FF7. I'm still jittery with energy from it. I'm giddy and giggly and have a sense of accomplishment and pride. I am riding the "just saved the world" high. It's a good feeling.

This most recent conquest brings my total FF Victories to 5. 6/13 that I consider the "core" of FF games. One of which (FF3) is kind of impossible without emulation, so that's 6/12, half. Those victories are FF1, FF5, FF6, FF7, FF10, and FF Tactics. I've played 'em all, but only recently have I been able to go through them and systematically whoop they ass.

Without any true spoilers, the satisfaction I get completing these games varies WILDLY. FF1 has a bit of a cop-out ending, but it was originally made in the days in which the original Mario Bros. was pushing the realms of graphic capability, so I'll forgive it. FF5 actually completes the story with satisfaction, tieing up all the loose ends quite nicely. The game itself certainly isn't the best of the series, but the ending is satisfying, for what it is. For some reason after that, Square decided to cop-out on endings: FF6's entire ending involves the characters escaping from the final dungeon. Nice and all, but WHAT THE HELL?! I mean, you set up this deep, rich world full of conflict and possibility, and all you tell me about the people after the fact is that they're alive when they leave. WHOPPEDDEY DO! FF7's gains a slight amount more of satisfaction, but unless you wait until after the credits are over, you don't even know if you really succeed at the end. I mean, maybe you can infer, but it's not spelled out. And this oblique reference crap is *very* unsatisfying. FF10 has quite a solid ending, tying up all the loose ends and, not only that, giving me some friggin' PATHOS. I love the ending to that game. Like a man loves steak. And FF Tactics...well...look, if you can make sense of the PLOT the first time through, let alone the ENDING, I'll give you a dollar. It won't even be used! Convoluted politics and badly translated Engrish do NOT go hand in hand.

So some time between FF7 and FF10, these guys figured out how to write an ending. I will find out when this is...either post-nonsensical-time-travel-and-bodily-possession, or pre-monkey-ninja. INQUIRING MINDS!

So my next options include FF2 (which has a rotten leveling system but a GREAT story, from what I've heard), FF8 (which has a convoluted magic system and a confusing story), and FF Tactics Advance (which has a decent system and an acceptable, if childish story, that takes SO LONG TO PLAY).

I think it's gonna be TA. Unless someone can give me a reason why the other ones would be better. ;)

Off to "waiting-for-interview" land!

And yes, I'm still worried about people....grrrr...

I don't do this thing much...

2005-07-08T08:01:38Z

Viva Brittania!

Those fuckers don't know the hornet's nest they've stirred.

And for those tangentally affected or directly affected: May peace be with your hearts and families, if not in the world.

Steve the Egg Woke Up Next To Sausages

2005-06-11T05:09:08Z

Teen Titans has started something. Or rather, it has secured something that probably officially began with the seed of Speed.

Japan has been exporting cartoons to our shores almost pretty much since they started making them. But most of the time by the time they make it over here, badly dubbed and cheap-looking, their virtues must win out against their flaws. Or, in a case of nearly Taoist inversion, making those flaws part of their indellible appeal. Speed Racer managed to turn cheap ass animation into a high artform, though it takes a particular form of madness to appreciate. Voltron did almost the same thing, and was some kids' (e.g.: my) first exposure to the awesomeness that is giant fighting robots. The Japanese may have many cultural qualities that engender....discomfort...over here, but giant fighting robots have potentially world-uniting powers. I bet I could go to Antartica and find some mohawk hipster penguins who are down with the pee pants. I mean, down with the giant fighting robots.

Dude, penguins with mohawks. I want to see this.

Anyway, we can probably point the figure at Pokemon for taking the Anime style out of the basement, so to speak, and into the public light. Pokemon is a genius-simple idea for a videogame, which it was at first: a near-infinite cast of unique characters with unique powers that you can switch between at whim during a battle. It's success as a videogame and it's synergy with Nintendo and this being Japan, it became something huge. Something that attracted a rather harsh amount of rage simply because of its' gross hugeness. It seems to smack a titch of hypocrisy for the people who love GI Joe and Transformers from their childhood, which were shallow, cheap attempts at their parents' pocketbooks, to decry the shallow, cheap attempt that Pokemon embodied.

But more to the point for the cartoon world, it made an entire choice demographic of kids familiar with Anime style. Crazy familiar.

So when things are made to target that demographic, "Look like Anime" is considered a selling point. A *good* selling point. Big eyes, small mouth, nearly-noseless, sweatdrops, wild takes....each director adds their own thing, but the actionness is done very well.

More than that, TT is just fantastically well-written. It's quick, witty, and fantastically random (cf: the episode where space tofu uses cows as a power source. WHA?!). And it preserves some GREAT dramatic tension (cf: the Terra Saga, and pretty much any episode where Slade is the opponent). It's got the whole package deal, and from what I've heard, the ratings are reflecting this. They've got a new season. SLADE LIVES!

A further development on the thing: Anime often revels in fantasy and sci fi. Even the *good* anime that tries to rise above mere genre tropes, usually grounds itself with ancient samurai or futuristic spaceships. This certainly isn't, you know, exclusive, but they are common grounds.

So fantasy or sci-fi cartoons are considered to be more worth the effort than they may have been in the past. This has brought us Avatar, The Last Airbender,which does not lack awesome.

It takes the classic RPG/Fantasy concept of four elements, which, if you don't know them by now, I'll make you suffer. Slowly. It grounds the four elements in four kingdoms and four tribes, and each tribe has "benders" that basically manipulate the elements with fu. The Avatar is the one person each generation, reincarnated lama-like (not Llama-like. To my knowledge, Llamas are not reincarnated, though I've heard they make good steaks....) each time the last one dies.

ONLY THERE IS TROUBLE! Because the Fire Nation, war-loving and ass-kicking, came into power, and the Avatar POOF! went gone. His reincarnation, a young Buddhist-style monk who trains in Airbending, freezes himself for about 100 years, and then gets found by two kids and their pet flying monkey.

This intrigues me, because it promises to be an interesting attempt at an American company telling a story in the way that Anime has been doing for a while: episodic, continuing saga-style where each episode builds on the last. Nikelodeon has a lot behind it, and with good reason -- nothing irks the fanboys more than a cancelation before its' time...

However, while Teen Titans excels at storytelling, the people behind Avatar could take a couple of hints. They have a great setting, and an inspiring metaplot, but each episode can't seem to liberate itself from sickening-sweet daily lessons of "friendship," "respect for the elders," "different people should get along," "running away is bad," etc., etc. In something that is so stepped in Asiaphilia, I'd expect something with a little less "KNOWING IS HALF THE BATTLE!" at the end. I keep getting the impression that if this were some epic liveaction movie done in four parts, it would be more compelling. They have interesting characters with nuanced conflicts (the main villain seems interesting because he's genuinely Good, but his motives run directly against that of the good guys), but they loose it with little Precious Moments stuff that removes the viewer from the fantastic world and plunges them into reality.

Look, the show is cool, you don't need to justify it by making it relevant. It's fantasy. It's kind of only relevant on a very allegorical level.

At just about the opposite end of the "Fantasy is Marketable Now" idea is Dave the Barbarian which is probably the closest thing the world will ever get to a cartoon from Dragon Magazine being made into an animated series. It is corny, but it embraces its cliches and runs into crazily absurd lengths. You get donkeys who sing like Barry White. You get '80's bands. You get the voice of Dot from The Animaniacs still finding work ("NOT A MONKEY!"). It's a simple premise (cowardly barbarian) that has found the perfect "dirty look." The lines are croocked, the characters are dim. This isn't a beautiful mideval fantasy, this is a world where Mel Brooks is the clumsy uncle wizard. It's kind of the Rocky and Bullwinkle in humor style, but it's a lot less varied. Still, it's got a Queen of the Mole People.

It's on the Disney Chanel, which also has the winning Kim Possible. Though it's easy to write it off as "Ooooh, teenage girl spy, that's like Totally Spies! It's horribly cliche!", the thing has a crack team at it. It manages to milk a lot of humor and dimension out of the cheerleader-come-spy idea that doesn't have a lot to do with skipping detention or practicing for the big meet. Just as should be, the "real world" takes a background to the cartoon, which is definately more interested in getting laughs and working with characters than it is in dealing with HS drama. Rather than being a teen girl with additional problems, she's a superhero who happens to be a teen girl. Which means that it's actually fun to watch. Yeah. Shocker.

No mention of cool cartoons that are now showsing would be complete without returning to Cartoon Network. They have got some of the most adventurous stuff in existence out there right now, which leads to an honorable mention for the zombie-bunny-bone-displaying The Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy It is warped in ways that John K could never get away with, because it emphasizes the cartooniness of everything. It's crazy-wacky-humor, but a lot of that tends to fall flat. What calls it out as memorable is the fact that the people of Endsville (and Billy) are put through such horrible, twisted, malicious works by the creatures of the dark side of the unseen world. They walk around with a Jamaican grim reaper with a magic scythe, but over the course of a single episode, a wish-granting, rhyme-speaking skull managed to do horrible things to mulitple townsfolk (including giving one an adorable pink bunny whose verion of "tough love" included a cactus to the eye...). Aqua Teen gets props for "standing up to the man" with its hyperviolence, but it's got nothing on Billy and Mandy. While they're not bloody, they are *BRUTAL*. ATHF never made me really uncomforatble to look at. B&M has done that, and has made me come back for more. It takes the morbid humor that I loved about Invader ZIM, and continues it, albeit in a more "WACKY ADVENTURE!" form.

And finally, we'll end on a rather endearing note with something that's good old fashioned: Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends. It's style is right out of beatnik looney tunes of the '60's that starred things like lines and balls set to music. While you're meant to see those while trippin' balls, you're meant to see Foster's while on a sugar rush. The main character, Bloo, suffers from that all-too-predictable "main character is overzealous, selfish, and attention-grabby," that sometimes makes him a really grating character, but thankfully the show has dimensions that it plumbs. Like that giant purple hispanic critter....and it blends the minimalist, geometic style with some really neat computer effects that smooth the lines, making it a nice blend of steady lines and smooth motion that is really appealing to the eyes. It's one of the few cartoons nowadays that I can actually say is pleasing just to *watch*, even if it's on mute. It's almost as much art as it is fun cartooning.

Other than that, I want to point out Kirby Canvas Curse, which makes me want to buy a DS SOOOOOOOOOO BAD! BAD BAD!

A new friend

2005-05-30T19:51:32Z

I've added mearls to my Fellow Fallen, because the man has gamer insight that I value eversomuch. Recently he did an analyzation of "core story," that basically represents the game design behind D&D; the basic assumed structure of every D&D game out there:

"A party of adventurers assemble to seek fame and fortune. They leave civilization for a location of extreme danger. They fight monsters and overcome obstacles and acquire new abilities and items of power. Afterwards they return to civilization and sell the phat loot. Next week, they do it all over again"

He goes on to analyze it in the industry and how that forms a basis for consistency in product, much like a MacD's french fry being done the same way the world over forms a basis for consistency in product. More importantly to me, it handily encapsulates a storytelling trope combined with a gameplay element. Leaving the safety of society for the dangerous world outside of it is the basis of storytelling conflict, and it becomes the point of gameplay challenge. In a story, the heroes would always succeed (basically) but they also might not gather the phloot, or ever return to civilization, or change the world through their conquest of the wilds. It's not JUST beating up stuff and taking its dough, it's doing it with a meaning behind it, in a fashion that's not really repeatable from week to week.

This doesn't play that well in a game, usually. In a game, there is a chance of failure, an element of randomness, the danger of no victory. When you don't return with phloot and people die along the way, this constitutes a failure, a loss. This can also occur in the story, however. If they don't kill the evil, if the bad guy gets away, if the players themselves aren't integral to the victory, this is a loss in the game in the same way that the death of a PC is. The emotional investment in the failure is the same.

The key, then, is to balance storytelling with gameplay, and this isn't something that every gamer out there wants to do, because it does remove some of the power from the DM and places it in the hands of the rules system. It's not JUST storytelling, because the dice will dictate the terms of the story. This is good for a game, but often very difficult for a story. To let the plot slide with the roll of a dice is very difficult for some who see D&D as a storytelling system to live with, so they introduce rules into their own game that give the DM more absolute control than the dice or the rules.

When I tell a story with D&D, it is done with the intention for it to change and move as the dice dictate. That's not because the story isn't important, or because I lack creativity, or because I bow pointlessly to the rules; it's because it is a game, and to play a game is to agree to certain features that are out of the hands of any of the participants in the game. If I don't let the game be a game, I'm basically forcing you to sit through my fiction, which may be fun for some, but I've got plenty of writing talent to unleash if I wanted to do that. Nah, D&D is a game, and it should play like one. And that includes me obeying the rules as much as the players.

The core story of D&D supports it's style of gameplay. The core story of my own campaigns support my own style of gameplay.

Neat-o burritos!

2005-05-09T21:23:21Z

In a near-Mandala level of artistic comment on impermenance, this and this have been made manifest to the masses. I'm a +1 fan of the head and the pirate booty especially, they're utter fantastic.

Speaking of stuff that looks cool, it could just be the retro-sucker in me, but this stuff makes me want to spend money on it. It's 2 cool 4 u.

Fond of logic puzzles? Try this test, which is bound to be a lot of fun. :)

If you're more interested in witty little ditties, I'd like you to give me a word, any word at all... and this thing will make a ilttle limerick out of it. Most useful for those times when you have nothing to say but want to say something anyway.

This site is also really hell of sweet inspiration-wise, and I want to wallpaper my room in these posters....yeeeesssssss.....

Now that the links are out of the way, who wants to hear me babble about The Plan some more? Anyone? Bueller? TOO BAD!

I'm graduating this week (final on Wednesday and paper due Friday, but I'm done with it!). Then I'm chilling in Madison for about another week, just taking it easy. Then I'm moving back to Belwah, at least temporarily. My thoughts are that even with a crappy mook job down there, I can *feel* like a pimp juice dispenser (soda jerk style) if I'm making basically 100% profit, because my food and my rent are all being paid for by the parents. It'll be re-living the heady days of High School Income, but without that unfortunate "school" sucking up my time and making it so I can't enjoy the funds. I don't have a job in Belwah yet, but I'll be looking, and I won't be too proud to manage the Stop-n-Go this time around. ;) I will also get a car when I get a job, meaning I can tool around between Madison and Beloit looking for a better kind of job. But, at any rate, living at home will easily facilitate me building up the nest egg I need to make the move out to NYC, and do it licketysplit, almost no matter what the jobs.

BUT, as a celebration after I graduate, I'm going to A-Cen!!!!!(one)!!!! There's talk of a D&D game...I will be prepared, but I'm not getting my hopes up. I *am* getting my hopes up to see The Pillows in concert (!!!!!), meet Caroline Curtis, meet Piro, and meet the inpsiration for Aubrey by the name of Clarine at the Funimation table. Funimation does Full Metal Alchemist.....which is +4 awesome, due to it's melodramatic issues with self and soul and being. I love it. :)

Yeah, A-Cen is gonna RAWK. I hope to come back with some tales of slutty hot Con babes that I turned down because my heart is not with me, but I wouldn't hold out hope. Cons are generally magnets for freaky people, as is the Midwest, thus compounding the wyrdness involved. But it could be fun! :)

LATE FOR WORK! ADIEU!

(Hey, by the way...)

Oh, yeah, I'm also totally pissed at missing Cinco de Moustache this year. I knew I shoulda called folks and been all like "TAKE ME TO IT NOW, FUCKERS!" But I doodn't.

THAT'S OKAY, I HAVE VIDEOGAMES INSTEAD OF FRIENDS! *cry* :)

She's crazy here again...

2005-04-27T06:02:46Z

The chick I described yesterday is chillin' in the comp lab again. Craziness. But hey, eye candy! :)

90% of this is about links, so I'll keep it brief:

(1) Download this. It is one of the most awesome things on Earth.....I'll be humming along alll night.

(2)This (with a video here is enlightening for a different reason...science has kind of opened up a whole Pandora's Box of ethical dillemas with this. From a perspective, it's basically making another living creature human-like enough so that when the time comes, we can kill it and harvest it for our own desires....it's crazy. Not that I'm about to *resolve* any of those ethical issues just yet. I just don't think I'd grow a sheep to keep my own organs in...feels a little bit too "playing god" to me...but I'm not adamant about it.

(3) On the note of creating chimera...Tee hee. Change the number there at the end of that URL to any other number to get a different pic, they're all fairly equally disturbing. ^_^

Now back to reading something called "The Taste of Death." I less-than-three my final weeks here. :)

Seloy gave me something to run with....

2005-04-26T03:36:35Z

SO I'M RUNNING! Instead of papering. *mischief* I love meming...

Ten Movies you've had an obsessive love of
This is kinda hard because I have weird standards for flicks, so I don't get easily obessed by them. But let's go with those that I've got a wierd love of
1) Donnie Darko (closest I've seen to my brain on cellophane)
2) The Neverending Story (everything I can remember is continuously awesome)
3) The Star Wars Trilogy (the originals; Empire Strikes Back > Return of the Jedi)
4) The City of Lost Children (Brain in a box technology!)
5) Sin City (it's a new one, but it's kind of instant classic)
6) Metropolis (so many things having to do with cities...)
7) Monty Python and the Holy Grail (it's a classic, what can I say?)
8) The Lord of the Rings Trilogy (best books in movie form to date!)
9) FLCL (I'm counting it, even though it's technically a show -- 6 eps makes it as long as LotR!)
10) Garden State ('cuz why not?)

I think I like the word "city." Or perhaps just an urban atmosphere...

Right now, I'm in a computer lab in a library, my back hurts from carrying books, I'm listening to Jet (which is cool old-school flavored modern rock) and I'm staring accross the room at a stunningly lovely woman. Dark hair, wavy, just past the shoulders, with slight inflections of red...huge, black eyes that scan the entire room as if she's watching for something, an elegant neck, a mouth possessed by a half-moon smile, an assertive nose...she's maybe about 5'4" or 5'6"...a calm, honeyed voice...

That's all I can really tell, but what can I say, I'm a guy in need of distraction and she's totally what the guys call a "hottie." I've gotta go get a drink now. THIRSTY.

Uhm, train of thought....chuggachugga....

Popeman

2005-04-22T04:20:12Z

So we've got a new pope -- Benedict the Sixteenth -- and suddenly everything's crazy. The good dirt on the holy scene is that this guy was the "bad cop" to JPII's "good cop." A Hitler Youth and leader of the Inquisition before being pope'd, Ratzinger apparently has something of a "rep" for being hardline, unforgiving, and generally one of those kinds of dudes whose pride in his faith gets him away from the implementation of the faith. Still, giving the guy the benefit of the doubt, choosing Benedict as his papal name puts him firmly in a line of disputed, contentious, violent, and largely nominal popes that have served, often briefly, during times of great war and bloodshed, often campaigning fruitlessly for peace the entire time. If you're one for doomsday theories, two different folks have this guy pegged as the "last true pope" before the End Times, both say is reign will be brief, and both say the next guy in line is the Antichrist. Certainly some of the Popes themselves give these theories credit -- one of the prophecies once fortold a "mariner" pope, so one of the candidates sailed up and down a river to try and fit into the idea.

This is a bit nerve-racking for me, because I was a pretty big fan of JP v 2.0. He was a uniter kind of fellow, and though he was a little bit wonky on the whole "no condoms for AIDS-ridden Africa!" deal, he did things like actually visit Africa, and chilled with Muslims and Jews and the like to try to get a real dialogue going. He wasn't affraid to tell Bush when he was right, or when he was wrong, and that went pretty much for the rest of the world leaders equally as well. To have the "dark version" of JP2 strikes me as largely a BAD thing. Though I suppose much like Bush, there's no use judging him before he does his job. We will know them by the fruits of their labors, and getting to be in charge might calm him down a little bit. Or maybe we'll have that whole Second Coming thing pretty soon. If the Mayans are right, it's Dec 12, 2012....

Which leaves plenty of time for the new live-action Transformers to come out on DVD. ^_^ I'm stoked about this discovery, and I think I remember hearing some rumblings about it before, but there will most assuredly be a live-action version of Transformers. Spielberg is producing, but the writing credits (MI3? Alias?) and Directing credits (Michael "The Geographical Feature" Bay?) are partially less than heartening. Still, I'm gonna go with "it's pretty hard to screw up gaint robots fighting" and put in a "SHOCKWAVE SHOCKWAVE SHOCKWAVE!" chant. This is one of those instances where what's cool about the sci-fi isn't nessecarily *just* the giant robots fighting, it's the character-driven drama of a clash of ideologies, and the fact that humans are cought in the crossfire.

The known characters for the movie so far: Optimus Prime, Bumblebee, Jazz, Ratchet, Arcee vs. Megatron, Soundwave, Starscream, and two other random Decepticons. This further encourages me to go ahead with that Transformers tatoo ("because I'm not hardcore enough to be a Decepticon")....who knows. I don't. Maybe someday.

HEY! I have a long-ass job interview tomorry. 8:30 AM 'till 5:30 PM. Those bitches better feeds me...

Until then, I'm listening to The Shins. A Lot. A superlot. The whole alt-appalachia thing gets me good, and it's lead me to distract myself from paper writing with writing OTHER things. Such as writing. Such as writing what I'm gonna put below (it's VERY FIRST DRAFT stuff, but I think it's gots some cool idears).

She came to the spot where he was shot to dance with her dream of him. Clad like she was that night, in a long white dress that sparkled when there was moonlight, she lit pure white candles with a golden fire. She put them on the persistent bloodstains on the ground, imagining he could still be connected to the world through them, and through the world to her.

Walking in white high heels, which shimmered, slick and smooth in the candlelight, she leaned down to the boombox. With determination and faith, she pressed Play.

This song and these lights in the cloud-pitch night were her sacrifices to him, her guide, her savior. She spun in place, watching the edges of her dress splay out and whirl, filling space with air and motion. He told her she was beautiful when she danced, and she believed him like she believed in Jesus, the way you believe in Good and Right and that there is something after death. She believed in him like a faith. She danced with him like a memory.

The song paced itself out, eerie and regular, with a tambourine and a guitar. It was an old cassette, capturing the sounds of long ago, singing of love and loss and God, melancholy and more keenly alert for it. The singing girl with the nasal voice captured the reality of life in a way no happy face could.

She was lost, eyes closed, spinning to and fro, her heels marking time and her voice making a harmony with the ancient audio. It was in these moments, flying out of herself, without balance and without identity, where she could feel him again, believe he was there with her. The candle-flames flickered with the breeze of her passing, casting eerie shadows on the spattered maroon on the pavement. No one ever drove on this road. They didn’t before, and they especially wouldn’t know. But she used it to shoot for heaven, where he always was.

Something soft brushed her cheek as the song achieved crescendo. She believed it was him the way you believe your daddy’s the strongest -- not because it’s fact, but because it defines what’s real.

But as the lines of the song faded, as the singing slowed and the beat became distant and uneasy, she felt it again, and it was followed by more, not just against her cheek but over her entire body. Something soft was on the zephyr.

She opened her eyes, and the feathers fell as snow around her, bobbing and weaving around the heat of the candles and in the eddies and pools the dance moved through the air. Pure white in the golden candlelight, they dusted the blacktop small and large and fell on her skin. She turned into them, protectively closing her eyes, joy flashing into her face. The smell of cinnamon and incense greeted her as the soft, warm feathers pooled at her feet.

She saw the red light building behind her eyelids, and heard the rumble of approaching thunder. The feathers stopped falling. The ground beneath her was shaking, agitated. As she looked, an angry red wall of furious light was rushing down the street, accompanied by a roar of thunder. Suddenly fearful, she picked up the silent boombox, and ran off the road, ducking behind a tall oak tree. Everything roared around her, and she clutched the boombox close, leaning into the jagged bark, unconcerned about what would happen to her dress. He loved it, but like him, the dress will rot, the tape will warp, her youth will fade, and the future would consume them all.

The roaring stopped, the light faded, and a noiseless vacuum absorbed her hearing. She stepped back out onto the blacktop, seeing no more feathers. She picked up the candles, and hurried home. Her parents would be worried about her, now.

==========================

And because I can't do an update without a link, here is something interesting, inverting the way the World Is Supposed To Work. It's okay though, because as awesome as Ninja are, I think I secretly like robots better. Because all I could think of while watching GI Joe as a kid was "Sweet, Nijna! Now only if they had a giant, earth-shaking robot!!!!"

.....Yeah, I think that's all for now. L8rs.

I used to work with people who looked like this

2005-04-13T21:40:11Z

So the puppet by my side, it looks at me with those wide plastic eyes, and as it moves its mouth, its hands flop all over the place as if every syllable sends a spasm of abject agony through his body. I wonder where the central nervous system is kept on puppets, and I hear his words: "So, Jacob, anything more to add today?"

"Why yes, strange puppet, there is! Do you like Star Wars?"

"Like it? Man, it makes me wish I had a soul that could appreciate beauty, because I bet it would appreciate Jar Jar Binks!"

"...don't you mean 'appreciate the space operatics of the first three, and perhaps at least the fact that Natlie Portman is kinda hot in the most recent three' puppet?"

"NO! JAR JAR IS GOD! MESA WORSHIPPIN' HIM! IA! IA! JAR JAR FTHAGN!"

".....now I kill you, puppet!"

*TENDON SEVER ATTACK! SNICKER-SNAP!*

Okay, now I am typing with the hand that I did not cut off, and it is kind of hard.
I wish I had four arms like some gods I could speak of in an Apu voice. Until then, I suppose this bionic suit will have to do. (Creepy that it is called HAL....creepy creepy creeepy.) I will do this until the Ruskies come and get me in their flying saucer and force me to obey Communism while they move the capitol to Chicago for some reason. Vin Diesel will save me!

Oh yeah, apparently the big Wisc controversey is that someone wanna shoot the kitties. It's poorly worded in proposal, but overall I can't say the idea's any more abberant than www.savetoby.com......^_^

I'm sure someone out there will get this...I only reference it because this site references Kancho. And Godzilla. IN NOT NICE WAYS. *shudder*

This is something Alicia sent me, and something I sure as hell could see most of the people I hung out with when I was 17 doing....read the last scentence especially. Great reason to steal from a tomb. Best ever, maybe. That bong would be hardcore enough for Israeli punks. And for the girls who want to be hardcore without the tomb raiding, try this. Prada is for pussies. I'm gonna go with this thing for my accessorizing, though. Or really most any of those rediculously complex watches. They're great.

AAAAH! LATE FOR WORK! But download that STar Wars thing. I'ma be referencing it aaaalllll year. :)

You're A Hoopy Frood

2005-04-12T02:10:28Z

I REALLY want to highlight this so it's the first thing I'm putting on here. If you've even got, like, $5 to spare, help this girl out. Give a hoot, don't poloot! I mean, sponsor this girl! People call her "Neko." Isn't that awesome enough reason? ISN'T IT?!! Oh, it probably is. Now onto the entry.

Speaking of helping people you don't even know, if you want a copy of my movie, give this guy a call. He's supposedly able to hook a mutha up.

For the .01 people who read thise who have potentially already beaten FF6, and know about the videogame industry, this is kinda humorous. I won't say it's the most awesome thing ever done on the internet, but it definately gets props for inventiveness. Reminds me of the good ol' days, when videogame endings took a half hour and still left everything unexplained....

Speaking of the good ol' days, ever wonder what the 80's cartoons would've looked like with high-end production values? Perhaps Like This! There are a lot of awesome pictures in there, particularly the Danger Mouse Poster on pg. 2. He's the fastest, he's the quickest, he's the BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEST!. These guys do love their Skeletor...there's a picture of him and Skeletina that definately isn't safe for work there. And then there's this old Japanese commercial for LoZ. Makes me want to start a broadway production of INSANE proportions, complete with J-rap. :)

At the other end of the future, I'm glad to see that though flying cars remain a pipe dream, at leasat the UAE is embracing the latest advancements by replacing children with robots that can drive camels. TECHNOLOGY!

Whoop

2005-04-07T19:24:10Z

Eh? It's not even that funny, but it EXISTS, and this is scary.

This site has some wisdom. Specifically, I'm a whiney-ass bitch. I think I'm reasonably justified. ;) But yes, my plans are to curb it more in the future. :) They're a little TOO over-the-top in some places, but they're unapologetic about it, so I'm a fan even when they're wrong.

This article makes me severely question my own sanity. But probably in a not bad way. Since I recognize too much of myself in that, it occurs to me that I need to be different. So I shall. :)

And y'know what? Not mopey today. Rock.

HOORAY FOR

2005-04-06T01:14:01Z

BOOBIES!

It's the end of March Madness (sorry, IL) so you know what that means: it's time for Baseball! And skirts! And because I'm a pale mofo, SUNBURN. (I got my first one today. I named him Melvin.) What better way to start of the season than with a japanese girl in an awkward-looking get-up? I think there is none!

This is so you can all pay your respects from the privacy of your own home. Bow your head, join the crowd, and breakdance in remembrance. I heard he was down with it, blessing streetwise '80's retro captains and such. I'm not so sure of the goth-y guys from the video were down with the pee pants. I mean, the Jesus...pants....but I know I'm down with both corpses of small Polish men of great spiritual strength, AND with Nu-Metal versions of old-school getting served. There's some great talent in that eye makeup...

This will require slightly more expounding. It's a video about an asshole getting scissor-ninja'd, and while I totally appreciate it on a LOLLERSKATES! level, there's another level that it works at for me.

See, I see myself as only a few steps removed from that kid. The one who threw the scissors, not the dildo who was provoking him. I can relate and understand to what makes a man get so pissed off that consequences be damned, he's fighting back. Probably against a target who wasn't ENTIRELY deserving of it, just one that provoked him at the wrong moment. I can't help but think about what happened to the kid who chucked the scissors. The other one is probably fine and just had a great story about his psycho roommate to tell the future generations of his clique of assholery, but the one who retaliated? I can't imagine the situation getting any better. You don't get respect from that. You don't get authority from that. You just get more people spreading the word and kicking you around, even if you're later apologetic about it, and more if you're not.

So you've got two choices: match him in dickery and say "I'd do it again, fucker!" and be seen as an overreacting, hyper-testy little nerdserker; OR be apologetic and say "I lost my grip, I didn't intend to hurt you" and be seen as an overreacting, hyper-testy little nerdserker who is ALSO a pussy at heart.

I can vaguely remember doing similar things in my distant past, to people who pushed my buttons at the right moments. I didn't chuck scissors, but I let people get to me like that, and I did chuck baseball bats...I'm not entirely proud of the moments, but I was a tweaker of a kid who didn't know how to deal with all this rage in a healthy way. Likely, scissors-ninja is feeling the same way I did. I can see it in his face, the terror when he realizes that the fantasy world wherein he's an avenging spirit has crashed recklessly into the reality where he fuckin' jacked a guy with scissors, the knowledge that he won't escape, he's trapped in a situation where he fucked up and he can't do anything about it. Yeah, I've worn that expression a couple of times. Thankfully, it was early enough in my life that I've moved past it and can now look on it; I was able to escape what did it to me and learn better ways to deal with the rage generated by consumate assholes like Spritzer Joe over there, but Scissors-Ninja, by the look of it, is in a dorm room -- it'll be a while before he can free himself from that affair...

Of course, now, with all my l33t n1nj4 training in Anthropology and crap I can analyze the situation from a distance, and read into account things that were happening before and after that video. Spritzer Joe probably has a long history of picking on the doofus, flexing his authority...you can almost see that Scissors Ninja is just locked into his corner; he's conceded the territory, he just wants his own space, and suddenly the Alpha Male comes in, trying to impress the others, hamming it up for the camera, just having a spot of fun, and ruffles the fur. Scissors Ninja has been pushed too far, and now bites back. The moment he bites back, Spritzer Joe goes back to the majority group for defense. All the rest support him. "He's gonna fucking kill you!" The Scissors Ninja is once again reminded of his place. Sprizter Joe leaves, and never lets the nerd live it down, whenever they encounter each other in the future. For his part, Scissors Ninja has probably felt like Spritzer Joe is walking all over him, grinding him into grist, fuelling is sophomoric jollies, and he doesn't fucking like it but doesn't want to be the ass and fight back....until now, when, for whatever reason, it got to him.

I don't think I'm in danger of chucking scissors at some dick any time soon, but I know where the kid's coming from, mentally speaking. I can see both of them as doing what they think is best for the situation, and that making things bad. I can see where each of them should've changed what they did (Spritzer Joe knows he was being an ass and probably deserved it. Scissors Ninja knows he shouldn't have lost control and should've just changed rooms if he felt like a victim.)

The thing is, shit like this is what's at the root of problems like school shootings, and even, if you want to get creative with exegesis, things like terrorism. This is a local expression, but it's an absurdly common problem. Maybe it's just part of dealing with life, and maybe some people deal with it in REALLY bad ways, but I think the things that drive people to (a) be dicks at nerds and (b) get angry about situations that they can change need to be examined and contracted. With a global problem like Terrorism it's just useful as an analogy, but with an individual problem like school shootings, it's actually pretty much the entire thing. You do that to the wrong kid, the kid who holds grudges, the kid who can't separate fantasy from reailty, and you get a Columbine.

A wise mind can see the GSF's here, and how they result in adrenaline-fueled furies that are occasionally given firearms.

In an ideal world, even assholes would be dismissable, and "just having some fun" wouldn't include fucking with other people. But I suppose it's all part of the steps. ;)

I've babbled on for too long. Back to the papers!

mmmhmmmm

2005-04-04T16:19:34Z

It occurs to me that I am easily used. This will cease.

Speaking of people who are easily used: are you a girl? Do you play MMORPGs? this story should be eerily similar to something you've experienced. ;)

Here is a story about mexicans and robots. It's pretty sweet.

GORILLAZ is making new stuff? Innnnnnnnnnnnnteresting....I can't link it, but rest assured the animated rap-pop band is apparently back. Potentially exciting...I was always happy that they existed, even if they were just a pet project.

Cute bunny rabbits! And they die in horrible, horrible ways. I saw that bunny that used to always hang out by my house the other day hanging out by my house. I didn't give him food, though. Just waved "hi."

For those who didn't check my away message yesterday, MAKE SURE SHE SWALLOWS! This is actually a very sad story, if the guy's case is true, of a tryst gone horribly wrong, saving his sperm, getting herself pregnant, and then demanding child support. I'm inclined to not believe his story (because how hard is it to preserve sperm and get yourself pregnant off of it? I gotta imagine those are some *powerful* odds...), but either way there's a 5 yo kid at the center of this whose father never wanted him to exist. Odly, I'm reminded of Squee, but it's not funny because it's true.

Yeah, I've recently got my paws on Johnny the Homicidal Maniac, also by Vasquez. The thing with this most recent exploration of his thoroughly messed up humor is that Johnny (or Nny, as his friends call him) is, like many maniacs, overly philosophical about what he does. He's quite insane (though perhaps things from The Dimensions Beyond are to blame), but he tries to see it in logical terms, as a figure of vengeance. The violence serves a point rather than just being over the top, because that violence is what we all, on a certain level, want to do: remove the evil from the world. But by removing the evil from the world, we BECOME evil.

Vasquez isn't telling me something shockingly new -- no, that honor belongs to the kanaima and the cursed bones of a 16 year old girl. But the message is the same, and has interesting implications for the papers I'm writing right now.

Plus, there's the patented Vasquez dark humor which jumps through every once in a while, and the aside-comments are consistently funny. You just can't beat a scene in which Nny's eviscerating someone in morbid sillouette, and in the margin is scrawled "I drew this on Christmas Eve! How festive!" Plus, floating bunny heads are MY good conscience, too. ;) It degenerates eventually into pseduo-buddhist destruction of emotion and feeling, but I sympathize with the homocidal maniac. I think anyone would. That's why he's a powerful figure. :)

Violence. Fear. Death. Pain. Anguish. It's been an interesting couple of months...thankfully, I'm in no danger of turning into a Goth Kid over it. ;)

Finally, I think what this guy is saying has a lot of truth to it. I'll let you be the judge:

Five Geek Social Fallacies
Opinion, Dec 2, 2003
Michael Suileabhain-Wilson

Within the constellation of allied hobbies and subcultures collectively known as geekdom, one finds many social groups bent under a crushing burden of dysfunction, social drama, and general interpersonal wack-ness. It is my opinion that many of these never-ending crises are sparked off by an assortment of pernicious social fallacies -- ideas about human interaction which spur their holders to do terrible and stupid things to themselves and to each other.

Social fallacies are particularly insidious because they tend to be exaggerated versions of notions that are themselves entirely reasonable and unobjectionable. It's difficult to debunk the pathological fallacy without seeming to argue against its reasonable form; therefore, once it establishes itself, a social fallacy is extremely difficult to dislodge. It's my hope that drawing attention to some of them may be a step in the right direction.

I want to note that I'm not trying to say that every geek subscribes to every one of the fallacies I outline here; every individual subscribes to a different set of ideas, and adheres to any given idea with a different amount of zeal.

In any event, here are five geek social fallacies I've identified. There are likely more.

Geek Social Fallacy #1: Ostracizers Are Evil

GSF1 is one of the most common fallacies, and one of the most deeply held. Many geeks have had horrible, humiliating, and formative experiences with ostracism, and the notion of being on the other side of the transaction is repugnant to them.

In its non-pathological form, GSF1 is benign, and even commendable: it is long past time we all grew up and stopped with the junior high popularity games. However, in its pathological form, GSF1 prevents its carrier from participating in -- or tolerating -- the exclusion of anyone from anything, be it a party, a comic book store, or a web forum, and no matter how obnoxious, offensive, or aromatic the prospective excludee may be.

As a result, nearly every geek social group of significant size has at least one member that 80% of the members hate, and the remaining 20% merely tolerate. If GSF1 exists in sufficient concentration -- and it usually does -- it is impossible to expel a person who actively detracts from every social event. GSF1 protocol permits you not to invite someone you don't like to a given event, but if someone spills the beans and our hypothetical Cat Piss Man invites himself, there is no recourse. You must put up with him, or you will be an Evil Ostracizer and might as well go out for the football team.

This phenomenon has a number of unpleasant consequences. For one thing, it actively hinders the wider acceptance of geek-related activities: I don't know that RPGs and comics would be more popular if there were fewer trolls who smell of cheese hassling the new blood, but I'm sure it couldn't hurt. For another, when nothing smacking of social selectiveness can be discussed in public, people inevitably begin to organize activities in secret. These conspiracies often lead to more problems down the line, and the end result is as juvenile as anything a seventh-grader ever dreamed of.

Geek Social Fallacy #2: Friends Accept Me As I Am

The origins of GSF2 are closely allied to the origins of GSF1. After being victimized by social exclusion, many geeks experience their "tribe" as a non-judgmental haven where they can take refuge from the cruel world outside.

This seems straightforward and reasonable. It's important for people to have a space where they feel safe and accepted. Ideally, everyone's social group would be a safe haven. When people who rely too heavily upon that refuge feel insecure in that haven, however, a commendable ideal mutates into its pathological form, GSF2.

Carriers of GSF2 believe that since a friend accepts them as they are, anyone who criticizes them is not their friend. Thus, they can't take criticism from friends -- criticism is experienced as a treacherous betrayal of the friendship, no matter how inappropriate the criticized behavior may be.

Conversely, most carriers will never criticize a friend under any circumstances; the duty to be supportive trumps any impulse to point out unacceptable behavior.

GSF2 has extensive consequences within a group. Its presence in substantial quantity within a social group vastly increases the group's conflict-averseness. People spend hours debating how to deal with conflicts, because they know (or sometimes merely fear) that the other person involved is a GSF2 carrier, and any attempt to confront them directly will only make things worse. As a result, people let grudges brew much longer than is healthy, and they spend absurd amounts of time deconstructing their interpersonal dramas in search of a back way out of a dilemma.

Ironically, GSF2 carriers often take criticism from coworkers, supervisors, and mentors quite well; those individuals aren't friends, and aren't expected to accept the carrier unconditionally.

Geek Social Fallacy #3: Friendship Before All

Valuing friendships is a fine and worthy thing. When taken to an unhealthy extreme, however, GSF3 can manifest itself.

Like GSF2, GSF3 is a "friendship test" fallacy: in this case, the carrier believes that any failure by a friend to put the interests of the friendship above all else means that they aren't really a friend at all. It should be obvious that there are a million ways that this can be a problem for the carrier's friends, but the most common one is a situation where friends' interests conflict -- if, for example, one friend asks you to keep a secret from another friend. If both friends are GSF3 carriers, you're screwed -- the first one will feel betrayed if you reveal the secret, and the other will feel betrayed if you don't. Your only hope is to keep the second friend from finding out, which is difficult if the secret in question was a party that a lot of people went to.

GSF3 can be costly for the carrier as well. They often sacrifice work, family, and romantic obligations at the altar of friendship. In the end, the carrier has a great circle of friends, but not a lot else to show for their life. This is one reason why so many geek circles include people whose sole redeeming quality is loyalty: it's hard not to honor someone who goes to such lengths to be there for a friend, however destructive they may be in other respects.

Individual carriers sometimes have exceptions to GSF3, which allow friends to place a certain protected class of people or things above friendship in a pinch: "significant others" is a common protected class, as is "work".

Geek Social Fallacy #4: Friendship Is Transitive

Every carrier of GSF4 has, at some point, said:

"Wouldn't it be great to get all my groups of friends into one place for one big happy party?!"

If you groaned at that last paragraph, you may be a recovering GSF4 carrier.

GSF4 is the belief that any two of your friends ought to be friends with each other, and if they're not, something is Very Wrong.

The milder form of GSF4 merely prevents the carrier from perceiving evidence to contradict it; a carrier will refuse to comprehend that two of their friends (or two groups of friends) don't much care for each other, and will continue to try to bring them together at social events. They may even maintain that a full-scale vendetta is just a misunderstanding between friends that could easily be resolved if the principals would just sit down to talk it out.

A more serious form of GSF4 becomes another "friendship test" fallacy: if you have a friend A, and a friend B, but A & B are not friends, then one of them must not really be your friend at all. It is surprisingly common for a carrier, when faced with two friends who don't get along, to simply drop one of them.

On the other side of the equation, a carrier who doesn't like a friend of a friend will often get very passive-aggressive and covertly hostile to the friend of a friend, while vigorously maintaining that we're one big happy family and everyone is friends.

GSF4 can also lead carriers to make inappropriate requests of people they barely know -- asking a friend's roommate's ex if they can crash on their couch, asking a college acquaintance from eight years ago for a letter of recommendation at their workplace, and so on. If something is appropriate to ask of a friend, it's appropriate to ask of a friend of a friend.

Arguably, Friendster was designed by a GSF4 carrier.

Geek Social Fallacy #5: Friends Do Everything Together

GSF5, put simply, maintains that every friend in a circle should be included in every activity to the full extent possible. This is subtly different from GSF1; GSF1 requires that no one, friend or not, be excluded, while GSF5 requires that every friend be invited. This means that to a GSF5 carrier, not being invited to something is intrinsically a snub, and will be responded to as such.

This is perhaps the least destructive of the five, being at worst inconvenient. In a small circle, this is incestuous but basically harmless. In larger groups, it can make certain social events very difficult: parties which are way too large for their spaces and restaurant expeditions that include twenty people and no reservation are far from unusual.

When everyone in a group is a GSF5 carrier, this isn't really a problem. If, however, there are members who aren't carriers, they may want occasionally to have smaller outings, and these can be hard to arrange without causing hurt feelings and social drama. It's hard to explain to a GSF5 carrier that just because you only wanted to have dinner with five other people tonight, it doesn't mean that your friendship is in terrible danger.

For some reason, many GSF5 carriers are willing to make an exception for gender-segregated events. I don't know why.

Interactions

Each fallacy has its own set of unfortunate consequences, but frequently they become worse in interaction. GSF4 often develops into its more extreme form when paired with GSF5; if everyone does everything together, it's much harder to maintain two friends who don't get along. One will usually fall by the wayside.

Similarly, GSF1 and GSF5 can combine regrettably: when a failure to invite someone is equivalent to excluding them, you can't even get away with not inviting Captain Halitosis along on the road trip. GSF3 can combine disastrously with the other "friendship test" fallacies; carriers may insist that their friends join them in snubbing someone who fails the test, which occasionally leads to a chain reaction which causes the carrier to eventually reject all of their friends. This is not healthy; fortunately, severe versions of GSF3 are rare.

Consequences

Dealing with the effects of social fallacies is an essential part of managing one's social life among geeks, and this is much easier when one is aware of them and can identify which of your friends carry which fallacies. In the absence of this kind of awareness, three situations tend to arise when people come into contact with fallacies they don't hold themselves.

Most common is simple conflict and hurt feelings. It's hard for people to talk through these conflicts because they usually stem from fairly primal value clashes; a GSF3 carrier may not even be able to articulate why it was such a big deal that their non-carrier friend blew off their movie night.

Alternately, people often take on fallacies that are dominant in their social circle. If you join a group of GSF5 carriers, doing everything together is going to become a habit; if you spend enough time around GSF1 carriers, putting up with trolls is going to seem normal.

Less commonly, people form a sort of counter-fallacy which I call "Your Feelings, Your Problem". YFYP carriers deal with other people's fallacies by ignoring them entirely, in the process acquiring a reputation for being charmingly tactless. Carriers tend to receive a sort of exemption from the usual standards: "that's just Dana", and so on. YFYP has its own problems, but if you would rather be an asshole than angstful, it may be the way to go. It's also remarkably easy to pull off in a GSF1-rich environment.

What Can I Do?

As I've said, I think that the best way to deal with social fallacies is to be aware of them, in yourself and in others. In yourself, you can try to deal with them; in others, understanding their behavior usually makes it less aggravating.

Social fallacies don't make someone a bad person; on the contrary, they usually spring from the purest motives. But I believe they are worth deconstructing; in the long run, social fallacies cost a lot of stress and drama, to no real benefit. You can be tolerant without being indiscriminate, and you can be loyal to friends without being compulsive about it.
Hey, Are You Talking About Me?
If I know you, yeah, probably I am. It doesn't mean I don't love you; most of us carry a few fallacies. Myself, I struggle with GSF 1 and 2, and I used to have a bad case of 4 until a series of disastrous parties dispelled it.

I haven't used any examples that refer to specific situations, if it has you worried. Any resemblances to geeks living or dead are coincidental.

That's all of it!

meh

2005-04-02T03:12:50Z

I'm feeling "less shitty" right now. Could be related to Dalicias quoting Cash. Could be related to hooking Stephanie up with cookies. Could be related to having a codified paper topic. Could be related to sending her off another wacky emotionally laden e-mail. Could just be time. I'm a bit hinged, but it's not overpowering me like it was before.

I also read this, which is hilarious and ennobling at the same time. This yobbo is living the quality of life I'd like to have, if I had an apartment. ;)

And for the record: Schaivo bit it. Now we can all go on with our life.

Also for the record: Stephen Chow can have all of my manbabies. First he makes my day with Shaolin Soccer, now he makes my night with Kung Fu Hustle. Martial arts comedies are golden.

I just beat Katamari Damaci tonight, which has an amusingly hippie ending (we are all on this great big ball together, rolled into one! Let's LOVE!). But now I thirst for hearing the ball-rolling music everywhere....there's especially this jazzy little number with a high-pitched pouty singer, and I need to hear it!

Instead, I'm being subjected to Such Great Heights in the background...oh, my poor karma...!

Before I leave, I'm going to take a recommendation from Jeph (check the fellow fallen) and meme: List the contents of your purse/backpack/man-bag/whatever. OK GO.

pens
two books (Shadow of the Oracle, a history of Ndyuka religion, and Defenders of God, about Fundamentalism)
The most recent Onion
My cell phone
My CD player (new Sony is workin' fine!)
My Nintendo DS
Notebook

Lots of words and ink and a few electronics...pretty much what should be in a sack. :)

I'm out, I guess. Just figured I should alert everyone to an improvement. :)

I am in a state of panic

2005-04-01T18:38:33Z

I just want to hear that it's going to be okay, and I don't get it. So I sit here with my stomach in a knot.

Rargh. Someone throw me a bone...

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